


I'm Fine

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 03:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8129569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Post Battle of Hogwarts Draco





	

How can anyone know what it feels like? To want to hurt yourself, but be afraid of the pain? To want to tell someone everything, but being afraid of the damage it causes?

How can one person hold so many emotions? Some days it's sadness. Some days it's anger. Some days it's fear. And some days, it's just everything.

Of course I know how. I know how someone can be so weighed down by life and cracked in every possible way before completely falling apart. But only because that's me. It's who I am. And I am only this way because of a single person. 

A single person who came into my life and knocked down every wall. Every safeguard I had ever given myself. Every word I had always thought true was broken.

Sometimes I like to think it was good. But sometimes I think it wasn't. Only good because I fell in love, and only bad because I have constantly been knocked down since I did. 

I don't know why they did this to me. How they seemed to build up my soul but to have it covered it dirt and dust everywhere. I don't have any explanation. Except for the fact that things I never thought possible about myself came true. 

They were only tiny details that set it all off. That seemed to break and flaw my life.

Now all I can do is feel alone, until in company of friends.

Now all I can do is feel hungry, until eating myself sick.

Now all I can do is cry, until I have a distraction.

And I hate it. I hate it all. I wish I didn't have to go through this.

I would die right now if I had the choice. Sometimes the knife even trails over my skin. But I don't have a choice. I force myself keep going because I know some people will cry when I'm gone, and because some people say it gets better.

My only wish of course is to go through a single day where I don't lie,

where I don't say "I'm fine," and know I'm lying through my teeth.

Because every time I say it another crack appears.

And because some day there will be too many cracks and I'll shatter.


End file.
